By Louis Teal – Social Media Rehab Therapy Recruiter.
It’s been 2 months since my mom passed away from pancreatic cancer. I can recall the day vividly. I was called by her hospice care nurse on my lunch break. I was told that she had taken a dramatic turn from the previous day. She said my family should get get up there as soon as possible. I was shocked. I just had her over my house a couple days before. She was soaking up the sun and spending time with my daughters. She was fine.
I immediately left work and made it up in time to say goodbye. She unfortunately was unresponsive. I watched her take her last breath. Thankfully, she was surrounded by loved ones. It was the toughest thing I have ever experienced.
My life forever changed that day.
I started writing this as a journal entry to help me cope with everything. I never thought I would publish it anywhere. But, I got to thinking. There are countless people that go through this. Unfortunately, life moves on after we lose a loved one. You have to go back to work or school. It is my goal to help people in anyway I can, so I want to share a few ways to help move forward after a loss.
Take some time off. This is very obvious, but important none-the-less. We all live such busy lives, it is so hard to process events like this. I took 2 weeks off from work. We happened to have a trip planned. This gave me some time to reflect on my mom’s life, recharge after watching my mom’s long battle, and it ultimately allowed me time to heal.
Talk about your feelings. It’s hard to be transparent about how you feel. Especially for men. I get it. Tell your spouse or significant how you feel. If you are single, seek out a friend that you trust. If that is not an option, talk to your pastor/clergyman or find a support group. You cannot let these feelings bottle up over time.
Don’t make rash decisions. You may suddenly feel unsatisfied at work or in other parts of life. It is important to evaluate if this is a legitimate concern or a feeling brought on by grief. Avoid leaving your job, moving across country, or any major decisions until you digest your feelings. Give yourself some time to make sure it is right.
Take time to remember your loved one. There are so many wonderful memories I have of my mom. Talk to your family members about the times you had. You may learn something about your loved one you never knew. Keep them alive in your heart forever. My family and I planted flowers to remember my mom.
Loss will never be easy. But, remember it’s okay to live your life! It’s okay to have days where you grin ear-to-ear. Don’t stop yourself from being happy.